Before I begin this post let me warn you all that I am in a sentimental mood and listening to sappy Christmas music as I write. Proceed with caution:
So much, good and bad, happens in a year. And it all happens so quickly - 365 days really isn't THAT long. How is it that a year ago I was holding my precious 7lb baby girl who only ate, slept, pooped, and cried, and today I walk through the house holding both her hands as she learns to walk? She is now 20 lbs, about 30 in tall, and saying bye bye, mama, dada, papa, kitty cat, and puppy. She is my heart, absolutely the best blessing God has ever given me. I had no idea one little person could stir such emotion in me. I think of her often through the workday, and although I miss her while I am work, I feel so proud to be her mommy and so blessed to be the one God entrusted with her care while we are on this Earth. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her or her daddy. They are my world- and I know if I hadn't waited for George - and rather married some other goob along the way- Julianna wouldn't be here today. We've gone through so much this year, our little family, and proved that we can make it through anything. Many of you reading this may be unaware of our struggles, and that's ok. Just know that my faith and hope has been renewed over the past year, and God answers prayers.
I am a very emotional, reflective person. As my favorite time of year - Christmas- approaches, I try to think of all of my blessings- even if sometimes it makes me sad. I am honored to be Julianna's mother, and I think the world should know that I had a great example of motherly love to follow. I miss my mom so much, and I know I will see her one day, but I can't help but think about how much she would love my little family- and her first granddaughter. Sometimes Julianna waves off into space and smiles. She has done this since she was just a couple of months old. I always ask her what she is smiling at, or reaching for, as she sometimes does. Of course she doesn't tell me, but I like to think that maybe she sees or feels mama's presence here. They say babies are open to that because they are closer to heaven than we are, seeing as they were there not that long ago. It's definitely going to be one of my questions for God when I get there.
We recently celebrated Julianna's 1st birthday. I am proud to say that I was pretty domesticated. I made the cupcakes, her cake (George made the frosting, but I decorated), her onesie (iron on), and her tutu and bow. Now those of you that know me know that is pretty impressive for me- I am the one who buys anything I can that is already done. Those of you that know Julianna know how absolutely precious she was in her birthday outfit. We had a wonderful turnout for her party, and if you were one of those folks - thank you so much!!!
This year has been wonderful- even with the struggles- and I so look forward to the year ahead. I just wish we could slow down a bit so I could hold every single moment and find a way to capture them all. Of course if that were the case, maybe we wouldn't be able to appreciate the moments we do have.
I am going to work on getting this blog out much more often (seriously). So keep an eye out. Thank you for allowing me to be open and vulnerable. Some days we just need to be sentimental. God bless you all. Merry Christmas!!!