Thursday, March 10, 2011


So...the dreaded return to work has come and gone.  In 32 years I have been fortunate enough to only have had to face just a few days that have threatened to rip the heart out of my chest. This past Monday was one of those days. (George says this is a bit dramatic, but hey, it's how I felt!) I woke at 5 a.m. and tearfully nursed my barely awake daughter, then continued to combat the tears as I dressed and loaded my car with the seemingly millions of items the babysitter would need. I spent the free time I had to play with Julianna and soak in her smiles and laughs. She is a very happy baby in the mornings, so it is difficult not to be happy too!! On the 45 minute drive to work, I explained to her what was going to happen today and why we had to be apart. I assured her that I would much rather be with her, but that for a few hours there were other kids who needed me. I told her that some of them don't have the loving parents she does, and they need someone to talk to and to love them too. I told her that Mrs. Theresa was going to take good care of her and that I would call often and come by at lunch. As I peered at her through the rearview mirror with my blurry tear-filled eyes, I realized she was fast asleep. So much for that pep talk! I am already gabbing her to boredom! George made me feel better when he told me that I had comforted her just enough to sleep peacefully.  That, or the magic of a moving vehicle sent her into dreamland. Once we arrived at the sitters, I cried before I entered the door, gave her many kisses, went to work and spent the rest of the morning crying. I called Mrs. Theresa 3 times before lunch, went and nursed her at lunch because she was resisting the bottle, then called again 3 times after lunch. Poor Mrs. Theresa! But she was so patient. My reward for making it through the day was a huge smile from Julianna when I arrived to pick her up in the afternoon. That helped so much...and the fact that I had all evening to love on her!

People tell you it gets easier. People tell you that every mother goes through this. People tell you that one day you will enjoy the time apart from your kids. People are crazy.

It IS getting easier, as I only cried the first 2 days, and have been better the past 2 days, but it is still hard to be away from her.  On the 2nd day Julianna knew what was happening and cried when I handed her to Mrs. Theresa. It broke my heart that I had to leave her crying like that. By the third day, she cried when I took her from Mrs. Theresa. That broke my heart even more. Today, day number 4, was much better, and we are both adjusting well. She seems to really like Mrs. Theresa and vice versa. I am extremely lucky to have found such a caring individual  (and close to work too) to care for my daughter. A (large) piece of me stays there with her each day as I go to work. I can't imagine ever wanting to be away from my angel, but for now this is how it has to be.  So we wake up with a smile and we go to sleep with kisses.  I realize that I set the tone around here, so no matter how hard it is I have to be as positive as possible. (As my dad reminded me...this is just the beginning. Wait until she falls off her bike, gets her heart broken, drives away from me in her own car, and goes away to college. Thanks dad....but for now I think I'll take one day at a time. You tried to teach me that motto for years...I finally get it!!)

On another note, Julianna weighs 12 lbs now! She is the absolute most cutest, cuddliest,  most adorable creature on this planet! I can't get enough of her and love to just kiss her puffy cheeks and squeeze her (gently) all the time. Her laughter is contagious and she babbles so much I wish I knew what she was trying to tell me! She gets so excited about her conversations too. She knows what she is saying. I am just trying to learn Julianna lingo.

Today I witnessed one of the sweetest things. George turned on the radio, grabbed Julianna and danced with her around the living room. He even did a mock dip. The sight of daddy and daughter having their first dance had me grinning from ear to ear.  It was priceless. One day they'll be dancing at her wedding. But for day at a time!!

Thank you to all who prayed for me this week. I have no doubt your prayers helped me through this transition. You all are awesome! Leave a comment below or become a follower of our blog.  Love to all!

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